The PMS-SOS (Survival Kit)

Guys, this post is mainly for you, but ladies, you can stick around and feel free to comment since I am no expert on the subject matter.

I am back at it again with the survival kits. Yeah, I just can’t get enough, I really enjoy making these things. This time there is a little bit of a twist. The chances of you making this survival kit and someone actually having to use it at some point is considerably higher than some of the traditional survival kits I’ve made in the past.

So what is the PMS-SOS kit?
The PMS-SOS kit is my way of saying “I am going to pacify and sedate you with thoughtful gestures so that you don’t kill me or the next person that happens to knock on the door at the wrong time.”

Now gents, please understand, this is a high risk, high reward venture. If your timing is off, the quality is poor, or the contents lacking, you run the risk of being a “jerk”, “condescending moron” and at worst – dumped or divorced for a creative idea that has gone horribly wrong. I am no way responsible for your miscalculation and ultimate demise at the hands of said loved one. Proceed at your own risk.

You will need an understanding of what she wants and needs during her time. For example, after 5 years of being married, Andrea requires a open mind that can listen to her worries, but not necessarily have solutions, a few feel good + dramatic themed films, some chocolate, a cup or two of good tea, tissues and some alone time (in other words, get out of the house and take the dog with you).

For my PMS-SOS kit I used:
1. A neat looking container. I found an empty tea tin.
2. Organic chocolate ( A few different types )
3. Two great films that I know she loves (itunes gift card or put them in her netflix cue – don’t buy a DVD, that’s so 1999, plus she’ll get frustrated trying to open the package and your life is at stake)
4. Pack of good tea. Try picking the ones that have “calming” in the name.
5. Tissues for tears
6. A certificate redeemable for two handcrafted dinners prepared and served by yours truly. (This is option depending on your cooking skills.. I don’t always get an A for effort – so use your best judgement on this one. If appropriate order from her favorite place to eat and go pick it up)
7. 1 can of Watermelon pink Krylon spray paint(I only used about 1/4th of the can)

Directions
1. Paint your box/can whatever you found in your girls favorite color. Andrea likes pink and we had some pink spray paint laying around (go figure). I found that a few coats of the Krylon really worked out nicely.

Thank You For Making Krylon Cans Easy To Open

This is a tea tin for some fancy tea from Andrea's co-worker

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. Fill said can/box with everything that she loves. See my list for general guidelines but note that every girl is different.

Printed out cover art for movies then put them in a handmade envelope

Honestly I can’t recommend the best timing to give this gift but I can recommend when not to give it. Here’s a list of triggers that will tell you when it’s the WRONG timing to give this gift:

1) When she mentions weight in any way. Girls are sneaky with the subtle weight insecurity comments, so pay close attention!
2) When she’s already crying on the couch watching Glee. This seems like a good time but it’s NOT! Nope not at all.
3) When she’s just gotten off the phone with her mom. Don’t ask me why, it’s just bad timing.
4) When she’s just gotten home from a grueling hour at the gym. Yeah chocolate after gym=very bad idea.
5) When she’s finished cleaning the kitchen….. I found this one out the hard way.
6) After a fight. That would just imply that you lost the fight ;)
7) After sex. Any gift after sex is the worst idea ever. Unless she’s a prostitute or likes to pretend that she is.

Ok, so basically don’t give this gift “after” anything has happened. The last thing you want to do is make it seem like you are giving her a “prize” after she’s done something good or bad. Just my two cents. Crossing fingers this goes over well with Andrea. I know she will have seen this post before actually receiving the kit so my timing cold be all off. You’ll most likely be hearing about it in the coming days ;) Ladies tell me what you think and dudes don’t forget to send pictures of the kits you make and her reaction to receiving it.

Good luck!

***** UPDATE *****

Andrea’s blog response here.

Still room for more goodies if you choose

Easy to stow and can be re-used

9 Comments

  1. You are so fired! Writing up rebuttal as we speak!

    Reply
  2. GUYS:
    FIRST, make sure that the woman in question has a sense of humor about PMS. If any mention of PMS results in a reaction similar to, say, poking her with a cattle prod, you might not want to call this a PMS survival kit!

    Seriously, this looks like a nice thoughtful gift gone wrong. Why should a man’s motivation for giving a nice thoughtful gift be surviving PMS?

    Make sure it’s dark chocolate, decaffeinated tea, don’t call it a PMS survival kit, and give it to her when she’s in a good mood. It should make her mood even better, and when she’s suffering from PMS, she’ll think of your gift wistfully. :-)

    Reply
  3. Oh my gosh…tell me you didn”t?????????

    Reply
    • He did! I haven’t actually “received” said gift but reading the post gives me what one could describe as “mixed” feelings. Tomorrow I’ll be giving him a piece of my mind in my blog post.

      Reply
  4. cliffie, did you really just say “pms survival kit” out loud? LOL…you would be wise to rename it “just because i adore you kit” or “no particular reason other than it’s tuesday kit”….because surviving pms is something women have been able to do for untold numbers of years just fine without a kit, and your wife’s pms is not about YOU. That being said, i still love you very much. but i am anxiously awaiting andrea’s post about “cliff’s wicked-ass farts survival kit”

    Reply
    • But Lisa, isn’t honesty the best policy?

      Reply
  5. I can’t believe you said re-use!!!! YOU are killing this PMS lady to death might as well thow in a tampon while your at it.

    Reply
  6. Alesia – I mean, I could put different stuff in it and use it for something else or for the next go around. Personally, I think it needs more chocolate.. Tootsie rolls?? :)

    Reply
  7. Hahaha- I tihnk this is cute and am sending the link to my husband as we speak! I don’t know if he could pull it off, but I think my “bad attitude/emotional mess/miserable human being” moments are definitely hard for him to survive through. We should make a survival kit for our husbands as well, gals!

    Reply

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